As a couple are you trying to figure out if your marriage is salvageable? Is one spouse hoping to save the relationship and the other spouse leaning towards divorce? Discernment Counseling is a great option for "mixed agenda" couples. Because divorce is generally a permanent solution to problems in a marriage, it is a decision that needs to be made with care and intention. The goals of discernment counseling is for the couple to gain greater clarity and confidence in their decision making about the future of their marriage, based on a deeper understanding of what's happened to their marriage. 

Discernment Counseling is NOT marriage counseling. It is a structured process that helps the couple inventory their relationship and determine what the next step should be. Through this process, couples will focus on decision making about three paths: continuing the relationship as it is, moving towards separation/divorce, or a 6-month reconciliation period with an all-out effort in therapy by both parties (with divorce off the table)- and then make a decision about the future. 

Why Discernment Counseling?

After many years as a marriage therapist, it is clear that mixed agenda couples get stuck in therapy with one spouse only giving a half hearted effort to do the work. An estimated 30% of couples entering therapy are mixed-agenda couples where one is leaning out of the relationship and is reluctant to work on it, and the other wants to save the relationship. Much research has shown that at the time of divorce filing,most couples are split on wanting the divorce.  

This protocol was developed to provide the space for each spouse to be heard, to develop a more complex understanding of the marriage, and to understand their role in the relationship problems. Whatever path the couple chooses, discernment counseling offers greater clarity and confidence in moving forward. 

How does Discernment Counseling work? 

Discernment Counseling is a short term approach (1-5 sessions), preferable weekly. The first session is a two-hour session. Each follow-up session (if needed) is 1.5 hours long. The couple only commits to one session at a time.  

The cost for this service is $140.00/hour.