Helping the Helpers and Healing the Healers: A Pandemic Call to Action For All Of Us

Throughout this pandemic, we have a crisis on our hands that is rarely acknowledged and addressed. As a therapist in private practice, one of my specialties is working with people in helping and healing professions: doctors, pastors, nurses, therapists, social workers, educators, and advocacy leaders in these fields. I can say firsthand that my work with these clients has been incredibly rewarding. These professionals continue to inspire me and remind me of the beautiful gifts these humans offer the world. A tender and compassionate heart is what often leads these helpers into their profession. These folks tend to be bright, kind, sensitive, hopeful, and wonderful systemic thinkers. The same tender heart that drives these professionals into their careers in the same tender heart that often suffers from burnout, compassion fatigue, and depression.

These natural caretakers often have a core desire to help others, and this often leads them into helping professions. These clients tend to possess a keen internal radar that can sense emotional pain and suffering. Their intuition in how to address this pain and their efforts to bring love and goodness to others in struggle brings out the very best in humanity. With that being said, these professionals often struggle with self-care and prioritizing their own needs. Compassion fatigue can lead to poor boundaries and unhealthy coping skills. In addition, their natural role as peacemakers often inhibits their willingness to advocate for themselves. In short, these professionals can be the silent sufferers in the world. So, as a therapist that is very protective of these precious healers, I am going to step in and advocate for them during a time when they are too exhausted and burned out to do it for themselves. 

Here are some insights that I hope you will take to heart:

Your words matter. The pandemic and all that goes with it has brought such ugly divisiveness to our country. Fear and uncertainty do not bring out the best in humanity. We all have our thoughts and opinions about COVID policy, treatment, and procedure. The manner we choose to share these opinions matters greatly. If you feel the need to share your opinions on these subjects (which is rarely necessary, in my opinion), please be careful about assigning blame and attacking people’s personal character. The medical professionals that I have worked with since the beginning of the pandemic have shared the painful sting of harmful comments and accusations. In the medical world, the professionals that have sacrificed many years of their lives to serve others and have a core value of helping people are being accused of allowing a political agenda to compromise their ethics and influence the care they provide patients. They have been accused of withholding supposed life-saving medical intervention in an attempt to keep their COVID patients sick, giving fake COVID diagnoses to patients, and lying about their experiences in order for some kind of financial gain or political agenda. While this would be hurtful to anyone, it feels so incredibly personal to those sacrificing themselves on the frontlines. Sadly, these are not rare experiences for them. It happens over and over and over again. It is so discouraging for them and makes them feel angry, hopeless, and burned out. These professionals are working ridiculously long hours and putting themselves and their families at risk in an attempt to save lives. While medical personnel may set healthy professional boundaries in their responses, I can tell you that it hurts them to the core personally. I know because they tell me time and time again. Please watch your accusations and careless rhetoric. Be mindful of comments you make on social media. These professionals are not out to get you. They are as tired of this pandemic as everyone is. The masks, the PPE gear, and the COVID protocols are brutal for them too. They can relate to your unhappiness about all of it. They feel it too. Let’s not insult and criticize the very people on the frontlines trying to get us out of this mess.

A little gratitude and acknowledgment goes a long way. This is a ridiculously challenging time to be in education, medicine, and leadership. Policies, timelines, and scientific research are forever changing and evolving. As time goes on, everyone’s mental health is suffering, and the uncertainty in the world keeps everyone stirred up. Teachers have the burden of meeting all the educational milestones of their curriculum while also learning new technology and dealing with long student absences with illness and exposure protocols. Teachers worry about their suffering students and struggle to find the balance in offering students the grace and support they need while also holding them accountable for their academic responsibilities. Principals and administrators have to make difficult protocol decisions that no one likes. They have to manage funding repercussions and keep up with constantly changing state and city mandates. Few people would sign up for these important jobs if these responsibilities were a part of the initial job description. Doctors and nurses in all types of medical settings are burned out and emotionally exhausted as a result of their own personal lives being affected by the pandemic. These professionals are tired. Their staff and coworkers are tired. They hear endless complaining and criticism about all the things they hate too. Let’s change this. Try not to gripe about every inconvenience you encounter through the pandemic. Make a conscious decision to thank these leaders for the hard work they do. Write your school nurse and let him/her know that their work matters. Treat your child’s teacher to something special and let them know that you appreciate their brave attempts to create some normalcy in their students’ lives. Reach out to the medical professionals in your life. Write them a thank you note. Tell them they are valued. Let them know you see their efforts. Identify these professionals in your community on the frontlines of this pandemic. Organize meals for their families and find ways to help carry the load in their personal lives. These efforts mean more to them than you will ever know.

Let’s take a collective deep breath and shift the narrative. One of the greatest challenges for helping professionals right now is that they are struggling with the exact same thing their patients, clients, students, and parishioners are. Their mental health has been affected by their own experiences of anxiety, fear, helplessness, relational strain, and fatigue. They desire the same normalcy you do, and they worry about the physical and emotional wellness of their loved ones too. While these professionals have insights and gifts to lead the way for the rest of us, they can’t do it alone. They certainly can’t do it when we are working against them every single day. We all have to do it together. Let’s make a conscious effort to shift how we show up in the world right now. Limit news intake, take a break from social media and work with those around you to find common ground. Refrain from sharing your pandemic opinions with everyone everywhere. Quit participating in conversations and platforms that create an “us vs. them” mentality. Try to appreciate the complexity in all of these issues and find compassion for others, even (and especially) those that see the world differently. Create experiences where you can BE the good and SEE the good of those around you. Let your own experiences bring out the goodness in humanity, and don’t allow media headlines and political commentary to destroy your faith in people. There are so many incredible people in the world using their God-given gifts to make the world better. Celebrate them, applaud them, pray for them, encourage them, and join forces with them. We will get through this together, and we need the helpers and healers to lead the way. Let’s protect them and be good to them.